HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

wicker nomad said:
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile........... because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Click to expand...
I go with number 4 only i'm not smiling i mean it!
 
when you search death on the road on goggle you can find this pic,
fortunately, Maiden didn't chose this one for their live's sleeve LOL LOL

Death%20Joins%20a%20Road%20Crew.gif
 
OMG... :shock:
(at first i thought it was actually gonna be a terd :err:)
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
 
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "Faaaaaaak ..... Dude ..... How much water did you drink?!"

LOL LOL LOL
 
Bockaaarck said:
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "Faaaaaaak ..... Dude ..... How much water did you drink?!"

LOL LOL LOL
Click to expand...




LOL LOL LOL 8)
 
Bockaaarck said:
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "Faaaaaaak ..... Dude ..... How much water did you drink?!"

LOL LOL LOL
Click to expand...
i've heard simmilar one but with different ending

a rabbit is sitting on a pier smoking a joint when a fish comes along and asks "what are you doing?"
the rabbit says: "i'm smoking a joint, its really cool wanna try?"
the fishy says that she would but she doesn't know how to
so the rabbit explains it to her "right so you just inhale as much as you can and hold it in as long as you can"
so the fishy tryies and after inhaling she started feeling hyperactive and goes for a swim
while swimming she runs into a whale who asks her "hey fishy where're you going"
so the fishy tells him what happened and if he wants to try it he should pop by pier and try it cause it was cool
so the whale pops up by the pier when rabbit spots him and starts shouting "FISHY EXHALE EXHALE"
 
MaidenMadness said:
i've heard simmilar one but with different ending

a rabbit is sitting on a pier smoking a joint when a fish comes along and asks "what are you doing?"
the rabbit says: "i'm smoking a joint, its really cool wanna try?"
the fishy says that she would but she doesn't know how to
so the rabbit explains it to her "right so you just inhale as much as you can and hold it in as long as you can"
so the fishy tryies and after inhaling she started feeling hyperactive and goes for a swim
while swimming she runs into a whale who asks her "hey fishy where're you going"
so the fishy tells him what happened and if he wants to try it he should pop by pier and try it cause it was cool
so the whale pops up by the pier when rabbit spots him and starts shouting "FISHY EXHALE EXHALE"
Click to expand...
LOL
 
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