rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Frenchy said:
LOL Maybe
HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS
- Thread starter MaidenMadness
- Start date
LOL Maybe
wicky
Moderator
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
A Newcastle fan (could it be deadman) walks into a pub with his dog just
as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Newcastle
have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its
paws in the air and plays dead.
"That's amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when they win?"
The Newcastle Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally
replies: "I dunno.... I've only had the dog for eight months.
as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Newcastle
have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its
paws in the air and plays dead.
"That's amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when they win?"
The Newcastle Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally
replies: "I dunno.... I've only had the dog for eight months.
rockin_plumber said:A Newcastle fan (could it be deadman) walks into a pub with his dog just
as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Newcastle
have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its
paws in the air and plays dead.
"That's amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when they win?"
The Newcastle Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally
replies: "I dunno.... I've only had the dog for eight months.
great one LOL LOL LOL
wicky
Moderator
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
9/11...
9/11 Who?
You said you'd never forget, you bastard! :err:
Who's there?
9/11...
9/11 Who?
You said you'd never forget, you bastard! :err:
afraidtoshooteddie
Active Member
wicky said:
Bad Wicky :|
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
:roll:wicky said:
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
wicky said:
:err: dunno LOL
wicky
Moderator
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married
The other night I was invited out for a night with 'the girls.' I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight. 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9
times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when
totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
'Midnight'. He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, 'Oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's
throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.'
LOL
The other night I was invited out for a night with 'the girls.' I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight. 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9
times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when
totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
'Midnight'. He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, 'Oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's
throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.'
LOL
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
LOL
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Why I fired my secretary:
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be
pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned
out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will
remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So
when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until
one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's
such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we
go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful
day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a
moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple
of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be
pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned
out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will
remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So
when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until
one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's
such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we
go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful
day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a
moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple
of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.