HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

Maiden Breeg said:
oops! sorry folks, meant to put this in the hello thread, not make a new topic! :oops:
(These fekkin' newbs! LOL )
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Should have put it in the HA HA THIS IS HILLARIOUS THREAD...

I will move it in a mo :wink:
 
are you both mods? never been liked by a mod before LOL LOL LOLhere's another little ha ha

The following are alleged replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I
was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind.
I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at
the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number?
Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He
drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area, and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that the Christ has risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies
look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green
Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with
him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
Euro-Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I
remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier
in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather
than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after
all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
 
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she cannot stand it anymore and takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?"







The woman replies, "It's Keith, the dwarf."
LOL
 
This is an old one but made me laugh again :err:

> >>THE TRAIN SET
> >>
> >>A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her
> >>five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the
> >>living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying........
> >>''All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause
> >>this is the last stop!
> >>And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the
> >>train, cause we are going down the tracks.''
> >>The horrified mother went in and told her son, ''We don't use
> >>that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to
> >>your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may
> >>play with your train, but i want you to use nice language.''
> >>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed
> >>playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother
> >>heard her son say,
> >>''All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember
> >>to take all your belongings with you. We thank you for
> >>travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one.''
> >>She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just
> >>boarding, we ask you to stow all your hand luggage under your
> >>seat. Remember there is no smoking on the train. We hope you
> >>will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.''
> >>As the mother began to smile, the child added, 'For those of you
> >>who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat
> >>bitch in the kitchen.
 
wicky said:
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she cannot stand it anymore and takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?"







The woman replies, "It's Keith, the dwarf."
LOL
Click to expand...


LOL LOL LOL
 
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