HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

MaidenMadness said:
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year old son
playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of
bitches, who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last
stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses
on the train... cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind
of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are
to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your
train... but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing
with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son
say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope
your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding,
remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a
pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen... " :D
Click to expand...
LOL LOL
 
Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his
father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds
of

breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round
and
Firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice
but
Hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum,
how
many kind of penises are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles, and looks at her husband and
answers,

"Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties,
his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties
and
forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are there for decoration
only!
LOL
 
ShowLetter.jpg


LOL LOL
 
wicker nomad said:
Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his
father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds
of

breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round
and
Firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice
but
Hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum,
how
many kind of penises are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles, and looks at her husband and
answers,

"Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties,
his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties
and
forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are there for decoration
only!
LOL
Click to expand...

LOL LOL
 
A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in
an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first,but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men
say the following.
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this
country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

LOL
 
wicker nomad said:
A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in
an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first,but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men
say the following.
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this
country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

LOL
Click to expand...

Quality LOL LOL LOL
 
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