HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

how would different metal fans react if they had to save a princess from a dragon guarded castle:

GRIND METAL:

The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable
for about 2 mintues and then leaves...

POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and
fucks her....... easy and quick

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks
some beers and fucks the princess

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from
all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle
and burns the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and
kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it
in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her
blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the
deflowered princess

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the
front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks
again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the
last time

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that
he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the
dragon eats his body and the princess as well

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes,
the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to
the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques
learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes,
and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL:

The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene
gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by
security guards.
 
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