HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS
- Thread starter MaidenMadness
- Start date
afraidtoshooteddie
Active Member
wicky
Moderator
The Spanish Computer
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
wicky
Moderator
> > THE GOOD HUSBAND
> >
> >
> >
> > Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas
> > Party.
> >
> > Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at
> > all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
> > was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
> >
> > Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a
> > couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next
> > to them, a single red rose!
> >
> > Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
> >
> > He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
> > clean. So is the rest of the house.
> >
> > He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at
> > him in the bathroom mirror.
> >
> > Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
> > with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
> >
> > "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you
> > your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
> >
> > He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming
> > hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
> >
> >
> >
> > His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last
> > night?"
> >
> > "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
> > over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and
> > got that black eye when you ran into the door.
> >
> > Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and
> > so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
> >
> > His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
> > tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
> >
> > Broken Coffee Table $239.99
> >
> > Hot Breakfast $4.20
> >
> > Two Aspirins $.38
> >
> > Saying the right thing, at the right time. .. PRICELESS
> >
> >
> >
> > Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas
> > Party.
> >
> > Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at
> > all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
> > was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
> >
> > Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a
> > couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next
> > to them, a single red rose!
> >
> > Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
> >
> > He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
> > clean. So is the rest of the house.
> >
> > He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at
> > him in the bathroom mirror.
> >
> > Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
> > with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
> >
> > "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you
> > your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
> >
> > He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming
> > hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
> >
> >
> >
> > His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last
> > night?"
> >
> > "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
> > over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and
> > got that black eye when you ran into the door.
> >
> > Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and
> > so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
> >
> > His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
> > tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
> >
> > Broken Coffee Table $239.99
> >
> > Hot Breakfast $4.20
> >
> > Two Aspirins $.38
> >
> > Saying the right thing, at the right time. .. PRICELESS
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
:withstupid: LOL LOL LOLIvan said:
bloody hell they are great!!! :shock: :shock: the solo is really good :shock:wicky said:
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Funny moment last nite while playin trivial persuit :err:
Question to miss_rockin's mum...
What is the national animal of Canada....
She replied.... Its on the tip of my tongue.....
I PMSL and replied........ I didnt know you were like that LOL LOL LOL
She didnt get it and wanted me to explain :err:
Question to miss_rockin's mum...
What is the national animal of Canada....
She replied.... Its on the tip of my tongue.....
I PMSL and replied........ I didnt know you were like that LOL LOL LOL
She didnt get it and wanted me to explain :err:
Rockhardchick666
Well-Known Member
rockin_plumber said:Funny moment last nite while playin trivial persuit :err:
Question to miss_rockin's mum...
What is the national animal of Canada....
She replied.... Its on the tip of my tongue.....
I PMSL and replied........ I didnt know you were like that LOL LOL LOL
She didnt get it and wanted me to explain :err:
LOL Oh god.
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Rockhardchick666 said:
:| Thats wot I thought....
Apparently I did explain LOL
Rockhardchick666
Well-Known Member
rockin_plumber said:
And she said?
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Rockhardchick666 said:
I got a stern look.. and she said Ok :|
:err: move onto next question quickly
Rockhardchick666
Well-Known Member
LOL my dad would have pushed that topic further.rockin_plumber said:
rockin_plumber
The Plumber That Rocks
Rockhardchick666 said:
Her dad found it very amusing... he nearly choked on his beer when I
said it LOL LOL LOL