OT: Maiden-world pub

axy

Active Member
da ne kopiram čmarovsku pivnicu .. :suck:
Budući da svakodnevno dobivam ovakve mailove i slično, mislila sam si: zašto bi se sam ja smijala? :evil:
Pa da ih podijelim sa vama ...
šaljite i vi svoje smiješne "anegdote", bilo da su baš vaše ili da ste ih negdje čuli, dobili ... whatever ;)
uživajte (mada sumnjam da u ovoj hoćete, :shock: ali ja sam se razvalila ;) ROFLMAO) :suck: :suck:

Here goes ... :D

Be prepared to explain to those nearby why you are laughing so hard...
Cat Lover's or Not, This Is Hysterical...

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I
would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done- that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter... and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all.

A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!
 

BoBo

Active Member
Uhhh! Bolje je da ne citate. Osjecaj je u najmanju ruku nezgodan za vecinu ovdje. :cry: :D
 

Gul_Ranek

Member
Ajmo svi, sto smo naucili iz ove price? Nikad ne obavljaj vodoinstalaterski posao gol ako imas u kuci malu macku :D
 

BoBo

Active Member
MaidenMadness said:
a jebi ga vidio sam i cuo puno gore i u najmanju ruku nezgodnije stvari od ove price gore
Ali nisam bio pripremljen pa me jace zabolilo. :)
 

axy

Active Member
hehe ... LOL kad sam to pročitala, bilo mi je drago da nisam muško ;)
e ono, sorry znam da je dug post, ali morala sam stavit ... ;)
stavite vi nešto kraće ;)
:D
 

Gul_Ranek

Member
Tip je isao popravljati garbage disposal gol iz tusa jer ga je zena tlacila, pa je cucnuo ispod sudopera, a u kuci je imao malu macku kojoj se svidio onaj objekt koji je visio njemu izmedju nogu, pa se odlucila zgrabiti ga. On se naglo ustao i lupio glavurdom u neki ormar.
 
LOL LOL LOL To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu.
 

MaidenMadness

Active Member
Rainmaker_RI said:
LOL LOL LOL To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu.
:shock:
damn kakvu ti to pornjavu gledas?

e samo da se mogu sjetiti onog linka sa uputama u slikovnom formatu kako napraviti vazektomiju
damn
daleko najbolnija stvar koju sam vidio
nedam ja nikome da mi kopa nozem po kiti
btw tipica? :? kakav ti je to izraz za trebu?
 

axy

Active Member
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

1. she called me to get my phone number.
2. she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
3. she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
4. she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. she tried to drown a fish.
6. she thought a quarterback was a refund.
7. she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
8. she tripped over a cordless phone.
9. she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
10. when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she
moved.
11. when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
12. when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said Airport
Left" she turned around and went home

:D :D
 

Ivan

Active Member
ajd vidimo se ljudi, idem na more (u karin) pa me neće bit par dana
da ne pomislite da sam se naljutio :wink:
 

axy

Active Member
Ivan said:
ajd vidimo se ljudi, idem na more (u karin) pa me neće bit par dana
da ne pomislite da sam se naljutio :wink:
broj postova će drastično opasti LMAO

Lijepo se provedi ;)
 
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