HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

calvin.jpg

LOL
 
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more RECTAL DEODORANT.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the directions

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM "
 
Something funny/embarresing happened to me today. I had superglue in school. (My friend was giving me a borrow of it, I build models and shiz) and I opened it to check it and it got on my hand, and a little on my trousers (I never knew) so I go to the bathroom, and lean against the sink, I wash my hands and my trousers get stuck to the sink.

Mr. Bean Moment +1

My trousers have a small rip in them now
<<
 
The#2RY said:
Something funny/embarresing happened to me today. I had superglue in school. (My friend was giving me a borrow of it, I build models and shiz) and I opened it to check it and it got on my hand, and a little on my trousers (I never knew) so I go to the bathroom, and lean against the sink, I wash my hands and my trousers get stuck to the sink.

Mr. Bean Moment +1

My trousers have a small rip in them now
<<
Click to expand...
where? :?
 
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized
up by St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting
a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that
ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in
your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help
your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water,
laughing and frolicking about.The sun was shining; the temperature
perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see
heaven!"

"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see
how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, hackled to a
wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and
tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this
is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!??? "That
was a demo," replied St. Peter

:D
 
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