HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

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I can see it now............

#walks up to the barmaid# .............

Can I have a shag LOL LOL LOL
 
Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly aftermidnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audiotape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline that day read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING......
Click to expand...
 
monty python about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy movie

john cleese: i think its a good movie....blablablabla (MM comment: anyways you get it)
terry gilliam: john cleese is lying
eric idle: who is john cleese?
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
 
MaidenMadness said:
monty python about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy movie

john cleese: i think its a good movie....blablablabla (MM comment: anyways you get it)
terry gilliam: john cleese is lying
eric idle: who is john cleese?
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Click to expand...
LOL :D
 
BODY MEETING :
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!

LOL
 
MaidenMadness said:
monty python about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy movie

john cleese: i think its a good movie....blablablabla (MM comment: anyways you get it)
terry gilliam: john cleese is lying
eric idle: who is john cleese?
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Click to expand...
LOL LOL LOL LOL
 
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter

"Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just
too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've
been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky.....

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots
they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins
etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were
57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the fuck you are. Please
take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Ricky.."
 
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