HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

rockin_plumber

The Plumber That Rocks
It is funny.........
But not.....
Song for Britain (for the eurovision song contest)....

We had a Frenchy lady and a band in the final 2...

Anyway the announced the Frenchy lady had won...
Then said oh no... the band has won....OOOPPS LOL LOL LOL

Full Story
 

wicky

Moderator
rockin_plumber said:
It is funny.........
But not.....
Song for Britain (for the eurovision song contest)....

We had a Frenchy lady and a band in the final 2...

Anyway the announced the Frenchy lady had won...
Then said oh no... the band has won....OOOPPS LOL LOL LOL

Full Story
LMFAO LOL LOL and even funnier that Justin didn't win...reckon he thought he'd got it in the bag LOL
 

rockin_plumber

The Plumber That Rocks
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it!!!

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
 

afraidtoshooteddie

Active Member
rockin_plumber said:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it!!!

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.



LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
 

wicky

Moderator
Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
A. one's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. What do you call a chav in a suit?
A. "Will the defendant please rise"

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
A. What you looking at.

Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
A. Thay have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?
A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.

Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar*e.

Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
A. Because a nova has 4 seats.

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.

Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
A. Bigmac please.

LOL LOL
 

RYÆN

Member
4 British tourists are going through Wales on a tourbus. They see a sign which has the town's name "Ycheakhamananaches".

They all argue over the pronounciation of the town until they stop for some food.

Still arguing, they go into the restraunt and ask the chav behind the counter "how to you pronounce where we are properly? Say it slowly so we understand."

The chav replies "Bur-Ger-King."
 

Rockhardchick666

Well-Known Member
There's a girl crying on the top of a mountain when a man walks past her.
He stops and asks what the matter is, she looked very distressed.
"Mommy and Daddy just fell down the cliff, they're dead now!"

The man starts to undo his belt and says "Well, your day isn't going to get much better, is it?"
 

afraidtoshooteddie

Active Member
From 'The Times' online


The PR firm working for supermarket chain Somerfield got themselves into a real tizzy while trying to educate the public about the real meaning of Easter.

A press release drawn up by Hayley Booth, 30, of the PR agency Brando, claimed that, whilst spending millions of pounds on chocolate easter eggs, many young people are ignorant of Easter's true meaning. It went on to explain that giving each other easter eggs was a way of celebrating the "birth" of Christ.

An altered version changed this to "rebirth" until, finally, a third version of the press release nailed it down (to coin a phrase) as celebrating the "resurrection" of Christ.

Of course, all this ignores the pre-christian pagan rituals involving eggs to celebrate the fecundity of spring, but I don't think we should confuse poor Ms Booth, who the Times pointedly notes was "privately educated," any further.

 
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