express your anger here

Amazing how chips from the take away seem so insignificant, when you realise that someone cut the brake lines on your car while you we're in the queue at the chippy








:err:
 
this isn't actually anger but something very differnt. what i shall do now will be something that was never done before by me. open my heart. something that has been taking various insults and injustices for 20 years shall be opened. how long will this post be i do not know as i am writting this from my heart. for last ten years i have been suffering from attacks of depression. couple of years ago they were uncommon. i would suffer from it for 2 to 3 days once or twice a year. but lately they are more common and longer and finaly this wave of depression lasts for 3 months. what is the cause of it i do not know but i have a strange feeling that every move i ever made was a bloody mistake. everything. when all of my friends were jacking off at cheap and sleazy porns at home i was hanging out with older guys drinking and smoking weed from 8pm to 6am almost every night. now only a couple of years after when all of my friends are doing what i was only a couple of years before i am here. all alone in my room. i know i am older more mature nd all that crap but that's not a reason i couldn't drink yesterday...not even one bloody beer. or the reason i chickened out after i arranged everything for tonight. plan weed place booze everything. now my friends are smoking weed which i arranged in a place i arranged and drinking booze i arranged and i am rotting here in my room. its not bloody money or my image in the eyes of my friends that bother me. i smoked and drinked more than all of them out together so they can't complain. its the very fact i can't do what i have been doing for last couple of years. but when i think about it that's only my lousy attempt to hide problems that is obvously much deeper than that. i don't know what to do how to hepl myself. its not that i can't talk to anybody about it i can i have four people that are real friends. those kind of friends that most ppl would kill for. but i just don't wanna talk abt it to them. i have always had nerevs of steel. the guy that can take everything standing. i never want to talk abt my feelings to somebody i know...or i can see. its much easier to open my mind to a buch of ips on some bloody forum. to the ppl that really don't give a fuck abt you. its much easier that way
 
I know what ur on about MM.

I dont talk about stuff with my best mates either really :|

The way I see it is "a problem shared is a problem doubled"

And you say we dont give a shit :( some of us do believe me :wink:
 
yes, don't ever think we don't care, I know this is a day late, but still, don't ever think that, just because theres a couple thousand miles inbetween people on this forum, they are good people. parts your story sounds like my life, all the best my friend.
 
I hate that when after I wash my hair and it dries, it curls up... :x
My hair is like to my chin and when it curls, it looks so... gay
 
ewil said:
I hate that when after I wash my hair and it dries, it curls up... :x
My hair is like to my chin and when it curls, it looks so... gay
Click to expand...

gay.gif
 
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