Man: You sit here, dear. 
Wife: All right. 
Man: Morning! 
Waitress: Morning! 
Man: Well, what've you got? 
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; 
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... 
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... 
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! 
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam. 
Wife: Have you got anything without spam? 
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it. 
Wife: I don't want ANY spam! 
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage? 
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it! 
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it? 
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...) 
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then? 
Waitress: Urgghh! 
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam! 
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! 
Waitress: Shut up! 
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! 
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam. 
Wife: I don't like spam! 
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam! 
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! 
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off. 
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words) 
Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!