Blonde jokes

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 40 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor." No, from skipping."
 
rockin_plumber said:
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 40 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor." No, from skipping."
Click to expand...

:shock: I should do that
 
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
 
This kinda counts as a blonde joke :D

The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody. He had it narrowed
down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision,
they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he
would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying
all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The Boss approached
her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."
 
One day a blonde decides that she is sick & tired of all the jokes about blondes & how they are normally perceived to be stupid so she decides to show her husband that blondes are really smart.

While her husband is away at work she decides that she is going to paint a number of rooms in the house.

The next day, after her husband leaves for work, she commences the task. At 1730hrs her husband arrives home & immediately smells the paint.

He then walks into the living room & finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

At the same time he notices that she is wearing a parka & a leather jacket.

He goes over to her & asks if she is alright & she says yes.
He asks what she has been doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondes are dumb, and she wanted to show him by painting some of the rooms in the house.

He then asks her why she is wearing a leather jacket & a parka.
She replies by saying that the instructions on the paint can said:-


\/




































For best results put on 2 coats!!!
 
rockin_plumber said:
One day a blonde decides that she is sick & tired of all the jokes about blondes & how they are normally perceived to be stupid so she decides to show her husband that blondes are really smart.

While her husband is away at work she decides that she is going to paint a number of rooms in the house.

The next day, after her husband leaves for work, she commences the task. At 1730hrs her husband arrives home & immediately smells the paint.

He then walks into the living room & finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

At the same time he notices that she is wearing a parka & a leather LOL LOL jacket.

He goes over to her & asks if she is alright & she says yes.
He asks what she has been doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondes are dumb, and she wanted to show him by painting some of the rooms in the house.

He then asks her why she is wearing a leather jacket & a parka.
She replies by saying that the instructions on the paint can said:-


\/




































For best results put on 2 coats!!!
Click to expand...
LOL
 
A blond goes to the doctor and says

"Doctor it hurts when I poke my leg, it hurts when I poke my stomach and
it hurts when I poke my cheek"

The doctor says :roll: "You've broken your finger"
 
rockin_plumber said:
A blond goes to the doctor and says

"Doctor it hurts when I poke my leg, it hurts when I poke my stomach and
it hurts when I poke my cheek"

The doctor says :roll: "You've broken your finger"
Click to expand...

LOL LOL
 
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