A thread on twitter....
About the dishwasher....
It’s so true....
Inventor of the Dishwasher: I HAVE CREATED SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ALL YOUR LIVES EASIER.
Humanity: WHOA. So we just put dirty dishes in and it cleans them?
IoDW: Um, no. You need to wash them first.
IoDW: Not thoroughly. Just, like, what you'd do if you were drunk.
H: Okay, and then it gets the dishes SUPER clean though, right?
IoDW: Ha ha ha oh, god, no. Several of the dishes will still be dirty.
IoDW: Because you did not "pre-wash" them properly.
H: Before putting them in the machine that washes them.
H: Okay. So I put all my dishes in here and-
IoDW: Not all your dishes.
IoDW: Just the ones you don't really like. The others need to be hand-washed.
IoDW: And you need special soap.
H: I can't use the same soap I use to handwash dishes?
IoDW: Ha ha ha no
H: So I load the dishes in and -
IoDW: The methodology of that will be a heated topic of debate. Wars will be waged. Relationships will end.
H: Because of how the dishes went in the machine.
IoDW: Some people put cutlery with the handles down. Some with the handles up.
H: Surely it doesn't matter.
IoDW: You would think, wouldn't you?
H: But what if a friend comes over and wants to help uh, "load" this dishwasher?
IoDW: You cannot allow that.
H: I tell them that they can't help?
IoDW: You will say it kindly, but your voice will be steel.
H: Why ... why did you invent this?
IoDW: To make life easier. And because I want you to remember that with every advancement comes sacrifice. To exist is to suffer.
H: Maybe I'll just wash them by hand.
IoDW: Sure. If you want to do it the hard way.
Humanity: Does it also dry my dishes?
IoDW: Well, sorta. If you attempt to touch anything ceramic or metal inside the dishwasher within 30 min of the end of the wash cycle, you will scald your fingerprint off of your fingers.
IoDW: And your plastic stuff will for sure not be dry at all. You'll need to hand dry that stuff. That is, if it makes it out of that scalding hot water in its original form.
Humanity: All of the plastic stuff?
IoDW: I don't cut corners.