The track is nothing more then an argument between Nicko McBrain
and Steve Harris, but it is hilarious. It was secretly recorded by Bruce
Dickinson, after one of the shows on the World Piece Tour.
During the show, Nicko was playing his drum solo. While he was doing
that, Steve had some problems with his bass guitar. He sent the first guy
who he saw to tell Nicko that he should extend his drum solo.
The guy went to Nicko, but since he didn't know how to properly
communicate with Nicko while he was playing, Nicko got confused and
messed up his solo. He got angered by it, and he punched the guy after
the show. Steve didn't like that, so they had an argument about it. When it
had calmed down, Bruce walked in to ask what happened, and secretly
recorded it. In the end, Steve is on to Bruce and says the immortal
words "some cunt's recording this".
MISSION FROM 'ARRY
Steve: (recorder clicks on mid-sentence)...anyways, 'e did not deserve to get a bollocking...
(recorder clicks on and off here)...the time, I know why 'e got a bollocking, because you, you know, you dunno what the fuck 'e's goin' on (someone speaks in background) about, but 'e didn', but 'e didn' deserve it. All 'e's tryin' t'do is relay a message from me to you, right? N' 'e went the wrong way about it, okay?
Nicko: Yeh, 'e did go the wrong way about it.
Steve: Really?
Nicko: Well I'm, I, I, I, I tell ya what, I mean it ain't gonna 'appen again.
Bruce: I don't see where you get steamed, I mean, if the truss was gonna...
Nicko: Why I got steamed up Bruce is because 'e fucked me right up. N' I knew there was a problem, I still didn' know what it was even after 'e...I, I fucked!
Steve: I know that. Look, it's like...
Nicko: I fuckin' fucked-up...n' I stopped, n' it was like "oh, for fuck's sake!" (tapping his foot as if playing drum solo) Come on kids, n' I'm lookin' 'round...what is 'e tryin' to tell me? What's the problem? (mumbles something unintelligible)
Steve: Can't you understand? Can't you understand if I'm tryin' to get a fuckin' message through to ya, right?...I'd'a still...it'd a been a lot worse. If I, if I 'ad to go me gear done...as it 'appens, (snaps his fingers) just in the nick o' th'time I got it done. If I...
Nicko: Yeah, I still didn't get the message.
Steve: I know you didn'. But wha' we're sayin' (mumbles something unintelligible) wha'ever 'appens if I got 'im tryin' to get a fuckin' message to ya. Y'know wha' I mean?
Nicko: Sure Steve, but the fact is that the guy was not 'andling it the right way.
Steve: You don' fink o' fings like that Nick.
Nicko: But that's diff...look...(something completely unintelligible)
Steve: I bollocked...I was shou'ing at ya, "look, my gear's gone down".
Nicko: It's me that fucked-up.
Steve: Listen...
Nicko: I'm the one out the(r)e all on me own...
Steve: I know.
Nicko: ...I'm doin' a drum solo. N' I've got fuckin' talkin'...
Steve: N' I'm the one, I'm only one 'a finking, I've got fucking like a minute t'go before m..., to get this fucking gear right.
Bruce: Yeah, but if somebody gives a message to me...
Steve: No?
Bruce: ...I mean, it doesn' matter 'oo it is, I mean, the message gets through.
Nicko: Bruce, it's different...
Steve: It's a different situation.
Nicko: ...it's different for you. You're not standin' there all on your fuckin' own 'avin' a somebody try to get your attention n' talk to ya. I'm playin' a drum solo, n' the guy's standin' a yard, or two yards behind my drum riser goin'...
Steve: Yeah, all I'm tryin' a...
Nicko: ..."fucking anga-yangna-baba"..."wha?"..."BABA-BABA-BABA!"..."WHAAAA???". Fuck! (lets out frustrated grunt) By the time I've got that far, I'm fuckin' totally fucked. Because I'm p..., I'm not payin' attention to my gig...
Steve: Ey, look...
Nicko: ...I'm payin' attention to what 'e's tryin' to tell me.
Bruce: Yeh, but nobody woulda noticed.
Steve: I complete...
Nicko: I noticed!
Steve: I completely understand that.
Nicko: Fucked me right up.
Steve: But 'e, 'e was only doin' wha I told 'im t'do, n' that was get a message t'you. Now that the fucking 'eat o' the moment n' just, everything on 'and...'e don' fink to fucking tell Bill, 'e wants to get the message t'you, not to fucking Bill, so 'e don' fink o' that, 'e just tries to get the message t'you, right? So, 'e don' fucking deserve to get a bollocking for that, I mean, arright 'e got one I know...no say in 'at. But I just don', you know...
Bruce: (possibly saying "Attente! Attente!")
Steve: ...Bob was a nice guy. 'E's not like 'e's, fuckin', 'e's an asshole...
Nicko: No, no...
Steve: ...or an idiot, or anyfing like 'at.
Nicko: Oh no, but 'e was out of order, because 'e didn'...
Bruce: 'E wasn't out of order.
Nicko: "E was.
Steve: 'E wasn't out of order. 'E was wrong.
Nicko: 'E was, 'cause 'e fucked me up by tryin to tell me…
Steve: Nicko.
Nicko: If 'e'd o' come up to the riser...
Steve: Nicko.
Nicko: Look...
Steve: Nicko.
Nicko: ...if 'e'd o' come up to the riser dere, (shouting) I COULDA FUCKIN' 'EARD 'IM!!!
Steve: But nick...
Nicko: Cunt was standin' be'ind, I was sittin' down.
Steve: Yeh...
Nicko: ..."bada-bada-ba"
Steve: 'E was wrong. 'e made a mistake, but 'e wasn't out of order.
Bruce: It wasn't deliberate.
Steve: 'E made a mistake...
Nicko: Now, I know it ain't deliberate.
Steve: ...for fuck's sake.
Nicko: I didn' know that at the time, right? I still didn't that know Steve 'ad a problem wif 'is bass...
Steve: That's wha' I'm sayin'.
Nicko: ...luckily enough, by the time I finished the poxy solo,'e 'ad 'is bass wo(r)kin' again.
Steve: It was all that fucking grief...
Bruce: All it takes is the guy...
Nicko: The grief was, because I bollocked 'im up, n' I 'appened to tell ya (something unintelligible) go out n' apologize right. Fuck 'im, I'm gonna go n' apologize to 'im.
Bruce: Well all you gotta do...
Nicko: It's not for me to apologize. I bollocked 'im 'cause 'e fucked me up. Right there, 'e fucked me up. 'E was wrong.
Bruce: All you gotta do...no 'e wasn't wrong.
Nicko: 'E was.
Steve: 'E wasn't wrong.
Nicko: 'E did not 'andle it...'e's not even fuckin' communicating, right?
Steve: Aw! I don' wanna fuckin' argue about this, it's fucking stupid...I fink you're really out of order, I fink...honestly.
Nicko: No bollocks! Oh I am no(t) out of order.
Steve: You are. You're a'itude is out of order.
Nicko: 'E...no it ain't.
Steve: It is.
Nicko: No it ain't. The guy fucked me up.
Steve: I know 'e did...
Nicko: Well then that's out of order...
Steve: ...'e din' mean to.
Nicko: (close to hysteria) LOOK, I'M NOT SAYIN 'E (Nicko hits something) FUCKIN' MEANT TO 'ARRY!!!
(Steve and Bruce say something in background)
The fact is that 'e was a dumbkopf, 'cause 'e don' know 'ow to fuckin' communicate wif me onstage...
Bruce: But 'e's not a dumbkopf.
Steve: (?) Not close (?)
Nicko: Aww!
Steve: 'E's not fuckin' stupid.
Nicko: Well, 'e fuckin' certainly did a good job out there this afternoon, didn' 'e?
Steve: 'E made a mistake, because I...
Nicko: Wha'd'you mean "He made a mistake"?
Steve: Because I...
Nicko: You sent 'im. 'Ow could 'e make a mistake?
Steve: That's why.
Nicko: 'Ow did 'e make a mistake?
Steve: Well, 'e made the mistake by not sendin' Bill first, right?
Nicko: Well, well 'e made a mistake, right?
Steve: Yeah.
Nicko: Well, why?...
Bruce: There's a difference between makin' a mistake...
Steve: Well that's what I'm sayin'.
Bruce: ...n' a difference between makin' a human error...
Nicko: Right, so 'e made a mistake, right?
Steve: Yeah!
Nicko: N' I'm griefed up 'cause 'e fuckin' made me made a mistake. Now that 'e...now I can understand wha' 'e was talkin' about after the fact...it remains to be seen, 'e was on a mission from you.
Steve: Aw, I'm not gonna argue about it.
Nicko: Right? (it gets quiet for a second) Fuck my ol' boots, it just...I can't 'an, I can't 'andle that situation wif people (something about grief)... n it's important to me t'get a message like that...fuckin' 'ell! I cannot get some...get, get...when' I also fucked as well...I wouldna minded if I'd 'a gotten wha' it was 'appenin' straight. Like, on the end "aw right, 'Arris got 'is bass fucked, right I'll carry on n' do sumfing else", then that's fine, if I didn' fuck-up...but 'e made me fuck. It totally frew me right out, n' 'e wasn'...
Steve: I know it did.
Nicko: ...'e didn't know 'ow to talk to me about it. N', n' I've, I've told 'im "don't do that again."
Steve: Because, see, it's not, it's not, it's not fair relaying a message to people. 'E was just...
Nicko: N' 'e never turned 'round.
Steve: ...look, it coulda been anybody. It was just that 'e was the first one on 'and.
Nicko: 'Arry.
Steve: 'E was just standin' there.
Nicko: 'E never turned 'round, 'e never even turned 'round afterwards and said "Listen, did you?...I'm sorry, but you didn' understand wha' I was sayin' right?"
Steve: Well why should he?
Nicko: Well then, then, then because...
Steve: 'E got a fuckin' bollocking.
Nicko: ...'e woulda stood up for 'imself because 'e knows 'e was gotten a bollocking wrong, because 'e was on a mission from you.
Steve: 'E was probably...
Bruce: No.
Steve: 'E was probably fuckin' upset...
Bruce: 'E's probably a bit upset.
Steve: ...because you gave 'im a fucking bollocking.
Nicko: Well, rightly.
Steve: You gave 'im up for...as far as 'e's con...
Bruce: No, not rightly.
Nicko: Rightly, yeah.
Steve: But no, it's not rightly.
Bruce: No!
Nicko: I told 'im "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"
Steve: No.
Bruce: That's crazy.
Steve: But what?...
Bruce: What 'appens if the lighting truss is gonna fall down on yer 'ead? Does 'e go?...
Nicko: Well then somebody drags me out o' the fuckin' way, or else I'm dead, right?
Bruce: Yeah, but don't...I mean...you know.
Steve: I fink your a'itude is totally fucking out of order.
Nicko: No it ain't. No it ain't.
Steve: Yes it is.
Nicko: No it ain't. If I'd 'a known...now I'm the fuckin' cunt all of a sudden.
Steve: No, you're not the cunt.
Bruce: You're not a cunt.
Nicko: Because I told 'im 'e was out of order, n' I didn't know 'e was on a mission from you to tell me that 'is bass, your bass was FUCKED!
Steve: I know you didn'.
Bruce: All you've got to do Nicko, is just go to the guy and say...
Steve: You didn' know, n' 'e didn' know, arright?
Bruce: "Sorry about, sorry about shouting. It was a misunderstanding. But in future, tell Bill" that's all you gotta say.
Nicko: No. No.
Bruce: N' that way, he's a fuckin' proud geezer...
Steve: Wha's, wha's the ma'er with ya?
Bruce: He goes...
Nicko: Look...
Steve: 'Cause if this is some sorta (pride/crime?)...(something unintelligible)
Nicko: I bollocked 'im...no it ain't pride. It's, it's not fuckin' pride.
Steve: Well wha's the ma'er wif ya?
Bruce: It is pride.
Nicko: Oh bollocks!
Steve: What's the matter wif ya?
Nicko: The guy was wrong to 'ave been fuckin' dere to do wha' 'e done.
Steve: I know. All I'm, all I'm gonna say is that when you're goin' up tomorrow...
Bruce: No it isn't wrong. What's 'e supposed to do? Turn 'round...
Steve: ...this is a different a'itude, 'cause this is fucking stupid.
Nicko: I told 'im straight out not to do it again.
Bruce: What's 'e supposed to do? What's 'e?...
Nicko: I'm not gonna go out n' apologize for sayin' that to 'im...
Bruce: 'E's NOT!
Nicko: ...'e was outta fuckin' order.
Bruce: 'E's not out of order.
Bruce: Wha' 'appens...
Nicko: Bruce.
Bruce: ...if I fucking go n' tell somebody to do somethin', 'e goes "No, fuck off! I'm not gonna do that."
Nicko: Listen, Bruce...
Bruce: Then 'e's out of order.
Nicko: Bruce...
Bruce: But 'e goes n' tells 'im to go n' do something...
Nicko: ...I'm not concerned wif, wif, wif, wif, wif other people that can't fuckin' talk to me on stage, who don't know 'ow to fuckin' communicate wif me...
Bruce: But 'e's not out of order tryin' to do it.
Nicko: ...'e did not know 'ow to communicate wif me.
Steve: (walking towards tape recorder) Some cunt's recording this!
(tape shuts off)
